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	<title>Mars Venus Coach - Scott Lippitt</title>
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		<title>Power Connects People</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/02/22/power-connects-people/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:33:18 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Side Effects of Holding Power
When you think about people who are strongly driven to acquire power, what kinds of things do you imagine they are after? Is power about having: influence over others, money, status, glory, independence, self-confidence?
Popular stories in our culture like to distinguish power seekers from relationship seekers—people whose primary motivation is to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_176" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 269px"><a href="http://www.coachrichbernstein.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/images.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-176" title="images" src="http://www.coachrichbernstein.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/images.jpg" alt="" width="259" height="194" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Side Effects of Holding Power</p></div>
<p>When you think about people who are strongly driven to acquire power, what kinds of things do you imagine they are after? Is power about having: influence over others, money, status, glory, independence, self-confidence?</p>
<p>Popular stories in our culture like to distinguish power seekers from relationship seekers—people whose primary <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">motivation</a> is to foster connections and intimacy with others. The power and relationship motives are usually depicted as incompatible, where power is achieved at the <em>expense</em> of having relationships. As prime examples, think about the main characters in films like Citizen Kane, Scarface, and The Social Network. These stories tell us that power seeking is driven by self-centered ambitions, and as long as this motive is strong, the relationship seeking motive will be weak.</p>
<p>We forget that the rewards of power and the rewards of relationships overlap. We forget that <em><a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">power connects people</a> </em>to one another, and the more powerful person usually reaps the rewards of these relationships. Having power means having favorable connections to others.</p>
<p>Imagine a typical power imbalance in the<a href="http://marsvenusexecutivetraining.com"> workplace</a>. A company hires two people to run a newly-created department at the company: Mr. Alpha is brought in to head the new department and Mr. Beta is hired as second in command. Mr. Alpha is given the power to fire and/or promote Mr. Beta, making Mr. Beta dependent on Mr. Alpha&#8217;s approval. Their jobs have established this connection between them, and we can be fairly certain that their interactions will be more pleasant for Mr. Alpha than Mr. Beta. Mr. Beta will be more accommodating, deferential, and experience more anxiety about saying or doing the wrong things.</p>
<p>As it happens, Mr. Alpha has relocated from across the country to take this job, and feels isolated in his new city. Mr. Alpha&#8217;s not a bad guy, but he insists that he and Mr. Beta take all their coffee breaks and go out on all sales calls together, just so Mr. Alpha can have the interpersonal contact. Mr. Beta goes along without complaining. After a few weeks Mr. Alpha begins to feel less isolated in his surroundings, having established some camaraderie.</p>
<p>In power imbalances, the more powerful person can usually set the terms of the relationship and build rapport without much resistance. This may not create close authentic bonds, but don&#8217;t underestimate the appeal of casual interactions with people who are courteous and attentive to you. These interactions should be especially appealing to men, who tend to be more satisfied with shallow relationships than women.</p>
<p>The point is that these <a href="http://www.marsvenusworkshops.com">relationships can be rewarding</a>, and ultimately strengthen the allure of power. For some people, the promise of social connections may even be the hidden force behind their desire for power, especially for people who have trouble establishing connections under normal circumstances.</p>
<p>So even though the search for power and relationships are often portrayed as competing goals, it&#8217;s rarely that simple. Selfish goals may navigate the pursuit of power, but the motivation to connect with others is stronger than it seems, stronger than even the seeker realizes.</p>
<p>_____________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>Published by <a title="View Bio" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/ilan-shrira">Ilan Shrira</a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>How to Have an Awesome Work Career</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/02/15/how-to-have-an-awesome-work-career/</link>
		<comments>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/02/15/how-to-have-an-awesome-work-career/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Feb 2012 21:41:21 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[I was reflecting on my work career (past, present, and future) this morning and came to the realization that my job is &#8220;awesome.&#8221; OK, that word is overused, but I have young adult and pre-teen daughters, so I think I understand the different meanings it has, but I&#8217;m talking about the old definition of &#8220;awesome.&#8221; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was reflecting on my <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">work career</a> (past, present, and future) this morning and came to the realization that my job is &#8220;awesome.&#8221; OK, that word is overused, but I have young adult and pre-teen daughters, so I think I understand the different meanings it has, but I&#8217;m talking about the old definition of &#8220;awesome.&#8221; In others words, I enjoy almost every part of what I do for a living, and there is research in work psychology that explains why that is the case. So, here are the elements that make up an <a href="http://marsvenusexecutivetraining.com">&#8220;awesome work career,&#8221;</a> and some tips on how to get more of those elements in your own work life.</p>
<p><strong>Meaning</strong>. An awesome job is one that has meaning. There is a <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">purpose to your work,</a> and you have to find that higher purpose. There is a scene in the movie <em>Cedar Rapids</em>, where Ed Helms&#8217; nerdy character makes insurance sales sound like an uplifting career (&#8220;we are the heroes on the disaster scene, working to rebuild lives&#8230;&#8221;). Even mundane jobs, like customer service can be viewed as having meaning (e.g., helping clients, giving customers a great experience). If you can&#8217;t find the meaning in your current job after looking hard, it may be time to look hard for a new career.</p>
<p><strong>Accomplishment</strong>. Choose a career where you can accomplish things, take pride in those accomplishments, and celebrate them. I take pride when I publish a paper, give a great lecture, or finish a blog post. The pride comes from readers and students who comment favorably on my accomplishments, and I&#8217;ve been known to celebrate with a glass of wine.</p>
<p>My friend Carlos makes car-racing accessories. He takes pride in the fact that he can build better quality accessories, and do them quicker, than anyone else at his company. I tell our college students to accomplish something at their summer internships &#8211; a project, a report, or helping run a successful event. If their internship doesn&#8217;t require it, I suggest they talk to their supervisor about taking on some extra, challenging project, perhaps one that the supervisor hasn&#8217;t had time to complete. It makes for a better internship experience to accomplish something that makes a distinct contribution, and the same goes for every job.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.marsvenusworkshops.com"><strong>Positive Relationships</strong></a>. Nothing can make a career more awesome than working with terrific people, and building strong and rewarding relationships with them. I&#8217;m fortunate to have amazing, talented, and (yes) awesome students. I get to meet and network with wonderful clients in my consulting work, and I have some of the best research collaborators anyone could hope for. And, I try to steer clear of the bad relationships &#8211; those that can make your job an ordeal, and make you question yourself and your career choice.</p>
<p>Research clearly shows that relationships at work can be the greatest source of pleasure or the most tormenting source of pain and stress. Cultivate positive relationships and work hard to avoid the bad relationships (previous posts offer help in dealing with bullies and bad colleagues and bosses).</p>
<p><strong>Balance</strong>. Very few people can have awesome careers if their lives revolve entirely around their jobs. An awesome career is one that allows time for family, friends, and the ability to pursue non-work-related interests. I often talk to people who are unhappy because their jobs consume all of their time and energy. Some of them change to careers that allow greater balance and flexibility, and although there are tradeoffs (e.g., less money, prestige, or a slower ride up the ladder). I rarely hear any regrets from them.</p>
<p>Does good fortune play a part in someone having an awesome career? To some extent. But it is more likely that people have to plan, make tough strategic career decisions, and work hard to make their <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">career</a> awesome.</p>
<p>___________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>Published by <a title="View Bio" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/ronald-e-riggio-phd">Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D.</a></p>
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		<title>Attitude is Everything</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/02/13/attitude-is-everything/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:57:29 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[In February 2012 Mars Venus Coaching is focusing its business articles on keeping the vision and passion alive at work. It’s no surprise that some of our motivation to show up for work is due to the paycheck we receive each month. However, I’d argue it is our ability to inspire ourselves to come to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In February 2012 Mars Venus Coaching is focusing its business articles on keeping the vision and passion alive at work. It’s no surprise that some of our motivation to show up for work is due to the paycheck we receive each month. However, I’d argue it is our ability to inspire ourselves to come to work ready to play with a fresh, fun attitude that determines how satisfied, successful, and productive we are day in and day out.</p>
<p>What sets a good company apart from a phenomenal one is the passion and <em>joie de vivre </em>it’s employees have towards their work and satisfying their customers.</p>
<p>Dan Schawbel on the Forbes blog at the end of January wrote <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2012/01/23/89-of-new-hires-fail-because-of-their-attitude/">Hire for Attitude</a>, an insightful article about what Mark Murphy’s research and<a href="http://www.marsvenusexecutivetraining.com"> leadership training</a> company Leadership IQ has found about the attitude of new hires predicting more of their success, rather than just skill set alone. The research found,</p>
<p>89% of the time it was for attitudinal reasons and only 11% of the time for a lack of skill. The attitudinal deficits that doomed these failed hires included a lack of coachability, low levels of emotional intelligence, motivation and temperament.</p>
<p>That’s right—having low levels of <a href="http://www.marsvenusworkshops.com">emotional intelligence</a>, motivation, and temperament greatly influence how successful you and your employees will be in job performance. The great news is that emotional intelligence and gender intelligence are learned skills that anyone can pick up to buff up the social-emotional skill sets they already have from growing up and life experience. The vision of a company can only go as far as how well the people within the company work the business plan to carry out the company’s vision.</p>
<p>The quick question you can ask either yourself or any of your employees to gauge how passionate and motivated you all are to carry out your company’s vision is this:</p>
<p>How excited are you about coming to work each day to do your part of the job?</p>
<p>In the process of answering, if you find you and your employees laughing and joking as you answer the question…, then I’d venture to say you’re at the level of a great company doing pretty good things. And, if you’re not quite there yet, you and your employees can always get the spark back by enhancing your soft skill sets. If you want to set yourself apart from your competition, then hire people to up your ante with emotional and<a href="http://www.marsvenusworkshops.com"> gender intelligence training</a>. Why not include gender sales and buying too? It will put you over the edge to being an innovative and exciting company that will stand the test of time.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.absolute-potential.com">Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">Mars Venus Coaching</a></p>
<p><a href="mailto:amykamstra@marsvenuscoaching.com">Corporate Media Relations</a></p>
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		<title>5 Most Common Ways People Ruin Their Work Careers</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/02/10/5-most-common-ways-people-ruin-their-work-careers/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:12:01 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[How to prevent failure at work.
Even the most successful executives and leaders can suddenly &#8220;go off the track&#8221; and ruin their careers. Research on executive derailment has clearly identified the factors that cause previously successful executives and professionals to fail. Watch out for these in your own work career.
1. Poor Interpersonal Style. Although technical competence [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>How to prevent failure at work.</p>
<p>Even the most <a href="http://marsvenusexecutivetraining.com">successful executives</a> and leaders can suddenly &#8220;go off the track&#8221; and ruin their careers. Research on executive derailment has clearly identified the factors that cause previously successful executives and professionals to fail. Watch out for these in your own work <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">career</a>.</p>
<p><strong>1. Poor Interpersonal Style.</strong> Although technical competence and successes may initially pay off, as one moves up in an organization or profession, interpersonal skills become more important. In our study of firefighters, technical competence was the key to getting promoted to captain, but lack of social skills prevented captains from going higher in the chain of command.</p>
<p>Having an abrasive or arrogant style, being insensitive to those around you, or coming off cold and aloof can lead to derailment of managers and supervisors.</p>
<p><strong>2. Over-Controlling and Inability to Delegate.</strong> In today&#8217;s team-centered work world, it is critical to be able to work successfully with others to get the job done. Managers who try to do it all themselves, who micromanage, or who are unable to <a href="http://marsvenusexecutivetraining.com">build a team</a>, are likely doomed to failure.</p>
<p><strong>3. Inability to Adapt.</strong> Change is the only constant in organizations. Workers who fail to adapt will become obsolete and fail. In one engineering department, the manager was unable to master, or even understand, the new design technology. Due to his own insecurity, he refused to let the new technology be used in his department. The result: they fell further and further behind on projects and produced inferior results.</p>
<p><strong>4. Lack of Transparency.</strong> Dealing openly and honestly with those you work with is the key to success. Even if you are justified and fair in the decisions that you make, you need to let people know <em>why</em> and <em>how</em> important decisions (such as promotions) are made.</p>
<p>It goes without saying that unethical behavior is a key derailer for anyone&#8217;s work career, so the best way to avoid temptation is to be <a href="http://www.marsvenusworkshops.com">transparent in the decisions</a> you make and strive to be virtuous in your behavior.</p>
<p><strong>5. Inability to Think Strategically.</strong> All too often, we get bogged down in the day-to-day work that is in front of us, and focus too much on short-term goals. However, <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">career success</a> requires constantly looking at the big picture, and thinking strategically about where we are headed. Strategic thinking helps us anticipate problems, recognize new opportunities, and build a track record of accomplishments.</p>
<p>__________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>by Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D<a title="View Bio" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/ronald-e-riggio-phd">.</a> in Cutting-Edge Leadership</p>
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		<title>How To Follow Your Passion When You’re Just Trying To Pay The Bills</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/02/08/how-to-follow-your-passion-when-youre-just-trying-to-pay-the-bills/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:37:06 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[ [BLOG]
During tough economic times, many people think they need to sacrifice passion and focus solely on earning money. From a spiritual perspective, this is the exact opposite approach to generating real abundance. Yes, paying your bills takes practical action. But it also requires an internal belief system powered by inspiration and passion. Without an emphasis [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.themarsvenuscoach.com/?attachment_id=363" rel="attachment wp-att-363"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-363" title="ignitefire-654x453" src="http://www.marsvenuscoachsite.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/ignitefire-654x453-300x207.jpg" alt="ignitefire-654x453" width="300" height="207" /></a> [BLOG]</p>
<p>During tough economic times, many people think they need to sacrifice passion and focus solely on earning money. From a spiritual perspective, this is the exact opposite approach to <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">generating real abundance</a>. Yes, paying your bills takes practical action. But it also requires an internal belief system powered by inspiration and passion. Without an emphasis on passion, it’s likely that no matter how many actions you take, you’ll still wind up feeling stuck.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.marsvenusworkshops.com">Neglecting passion blocks creative flow</a>. When you’re passionate, you’re energized. Likewise, when you lack passion, your energy is low and unproductive. Energy is everything when it comes to earning. Quantum physics teaches us that our bodies are made up of subatomic particles that are energy. Your thoughts, attention, and focus affect your energy and therefore everything around you—including your bank account. So when you’re thinking only about the mundane to-do lists and practical action steps, you’re lowering your energy and in effect lowering your earning power.</p>
<p>Your life becomes what you think about most. When you focus on following your passion and letting inspiration flow, your energy is raised and your earning capacity is strong. But when you’re uninspired and bogged down by low-level thoughts, your attracting power is weakened.</p>
<p>Now that you have a better understanding of the earning value of passionate, positive energy, it’s time to take it more seriously. Read on for three simple, effective ways you can bring more passion into your life—even if you’re crazy-busy.</p>
<p><strong>Who said your job had to be your only source of passion?</strong></p>
<p>Our culture places such a huge emphasis on our careers, that we lose track of our passion projects. But who said your job had to be your only source of passion? A dear friend of mine is a powerful example of <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">balancing passion and career</a>. He works in corporate America, but moonlights as a guitar player. Though he spends his weekdays at a desk, he spends his weekends indulging his passion projects such as gigging with his band, writing, drawing, and learning about art. Though he dedicates a lot of his time to his career, there is no lack of passion in his life.</p>
<p><strong>The passion of being of service</strong></p>
<p>When we’re of service to the world, we feel inspired and passionate about the work that we do. Perhaps the work you’re doing is service-related—getting clear about the ways in which it serves the world may make you more passionate about it. If that’s not the case with your job, maybe you volunteer for a local charity once a month, or find a way to participate in your community, or promote bigger causes. Awaken a service mentality. When you serve the world, you serve your soul.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">Shift your perception</a> about the way you make money</strong></p>
<p>If you’re hung up about the fact that your primary source of revenue doesn’t come from your true passion, shift your perspective. Be grateful for the work that you have and focus on the good stuff. Find even the smallest part of your work that ignites your passion. Maybe you love interacting with clients, or the neighborhood where you work. Maybe you’re learning something new by being on that job. Focus on what you <em>do</em> have and you’ll create more of what you want.</p>
<p>Take these <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">action steps</a> seriously. We all have work to do to support our economy, and if we’re void of passion we won’t have the energy and inspiration to serve. The more passion we ignite in our lives, the higher our earning capacity will be and the more we’ll impact financial growth in our country. When we all raise our thoughts we’ll raise our bank accounts—and greatly serve the world.</p>
<hr size="2" />
<p>Gabrielle Bernstein |</p>
<p><em>Featured in the New York Times Sunday Styles section as “a new role model,” motivational speaker, life coach, and author Gabrielle Bernstein is making her mark. Expanding the lexicon for the next generation of spiritual seekers, Gabrielle is the #1 bestselling author of the book, Add More ~ing to Your Life, A hip Guide to Happiness. In September 2011 Gabrielle launched her second book, Spirit Junkie, A Radical Road to Self-Love and Miracles. In 2008 she launched her social networking site HerFuture.com for young women to find mentors.</em></p>
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		<title>From Tunnel Vision To Your Ultimate Vision [BLOG]</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/02/06/from-tunnel-vision-to-your-ultimate-vision-blog/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:59:58 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[
&#160;
&#160;
 “We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.”
—Anaïs Nin
I’m a huge advocate for living a life beyond your wildest dreams, but I also know there are some potential pitfalls on the journey.
Having a vision is a powerful tool. It means that you are honoring your goals, aspiring toward them, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.themarsvenuscoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Vision-654x434.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-302" title="Vision-654x434" src="http://www.themarsvenuscoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Vision-654x434-300x199.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="199" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong> “We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.”<br />
—Anaïs Nin</strong></p>
<p><strong>I’m a huge advocate for living a life beyond your wildest dreams, but I also know there are some potential pitfalls on the journey.</strong></p>
<p>Having a <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">vision</a> is a powerful tool. It means that you are honoring your goals, aspiring toward them, and taking risks to expand your horizons. Sometimes our visions for ourselves subtly turn into tunnel vision. We can’t see anything that contradicts our intentions and desires. We get selective perception, which limits our ability to remain open and to see things clearly. Instead of being present to our reality while we pursue our heart’s desire, we put the blinders on and barrel ahead toward our hopes and dreams.</p>
<p>There is a shadow side to almost every positive thing we can do for ourselves, including having a vision. It’s important to be aware of this distinction. <a href="http://www.marsvenusworkshops.com">All spiritual and psychological tools</a> can be used in a “willful” way. For example, sometimes self-care is actually about taking care of ourselves: unplugging from too much work and plugging into more balance and harmony. But sometimes, under the guise of self-care, we are really just checking out: denying what’s happening and how scary it feels to show up for it. So, how do we know the difference? How do we know when we are pursuing our vision in a manner that is actually in alignment with our intentions?</p>
<p><strong>Tension in the Tunnel</strong></p>
<p>Tension usually crops up when we are stuck in the tunnel—it takes a lot of effort to keep the blinders on. For me, the tension often shows up in the form of a headache. For others, there might be similar physical cues, such as stomach- or back-aches, getting sick, or feeling lethargic. Some people find themselves to be more irritable or short-tempered. When we aren’t looking at the big picture of our reality, our emotional bandwidth tends to shrink. This happens because everything becomes limited in the tunnel—not just our vision. I don’t know about you, but when I’m stuck in a tunnel, I can get a little cranky. What are your personal cues that suggest you might be denying aspects of your own reality?</p>
<p><strong>Fear in the Tunnel</strong></p>
<p>There are reasons that we aren’t looking at the big picture, many of which boil down to fear. “What if I leave this relationship and I’m alone forever?” “What if I open this piece of mail and find out that I owe more money than I have in the bank?” “What if I take this day-job and I never get the job of my dreams?” Our response to these fears can be “No thanks, I’ll stay here in the tunnel, where it feels safe.” The blinders go up and we clamp down, even harder.</p>
<p><strong><em>Denial</em></strong><strong> is not a Tunnel in Egypt</strong></p>
<p>The problem is that denial may <em>feel</em> safe, but it’s an illusion. Whether or not you open that mail or take that job, you still have bills to pay—and we have to take responsibility for ourselves in the present, even as we are building the life we ultimately envision.</p>
<p><strong>The Light at the End of Tunnel</strong></p>
<p>If you are still with me on this tunnel metaphor, here is where it gets good. I grew up in Colorado where there are some amazing tunnels going straight through the mountains. Perhaps you have driven through one yourself, or you can imagine it right now. As you are driving, you move into a cold and dark, fear-filled tin can. The echo is staggering and yet everything seems so quiet. You can’t see two feet in front of yourself without your headlights. Then, suddenly, you find yourself entering into a picture postcard. The sunlight pierces through the windshield and warms your heart as you are greeted with breathtaking, majestic vistas. Let <em>that</em> experience be your teacher and your inspiration. When we move through small, contained ideas of what we think we want—what we think will make us happy and safe—we are brought to extraordinary and expansive beauty. Removing the blinders is like seeing in color for the first time. Tunnel vision is rigid and constraining, while remaining open is fluid and liberating.</p>
<p>Ultimately, moving out of the tunnel is about finding clarity, even if it feels terrifying—at least it is true. And reality begets more reality, <em>and</em> the opportunity to make it the best reality you can. I’ll never tell you to give up on the dream. I believe there is a reason that you have the dream to begin with. I will tell you that the best way to get there is to start from where you are, from the fullness of your situation. To look around and truly see, feel, and experience what is happening in your life. Accept your current circumstances and then take mindful action. If we are in the middle of the tunnel, we don’t get to the beauty on the other side by wishful thinking or burying our head in the sand—we get there by taking one deliberate step at a time.</p>
<p>I’d love to hear how have you have moved through your own tunnels. How did you get stuck, and what enabled you to move through? What did you discover when you surrendered your limited vision? I know that oftentimes people find a “picture postcard” that they never would have if they had held on to that tin can they used to believe was the shiniest and most precious thing they ever could have wished for.</p>
<div align="center">
<hr align="center" size="2" width="100%" />
</div>
<p><a href="http://www.positivelypositive.com/author/ingridsmathieu/"> </a>  Ingrid Mathieu, Ph.D<a href="http://www.positivelypositive.com/author/ingridsmathieu/">.</a></p>
<p><em>Ingrid Mathieu, PhD is a psychotherapist and author of </em>Recovering Spirituality<em>. You can connect with her on </em><em>Facebook</em><em> and </em><em>Twitter</em><em>.</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Stick to the Plan</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/02/01/stick-to-the-plan/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:49:59 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[As a business man or woman, you may be familiar with the phrase, “The best-laid plans of mice and men / Often go awry” from grade school when you read John Steinbeck’s 1937 novel, Of Mice and Men. Did you know that Steinbeck borrowed this line from the penultimate stanza of a Scots poem entitled, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As a business man or woman, you may be familiar with the phrase, “The best-laid plans of mice and men / Often go awry” from grade school when you read John Steinbeck’s 1937 novel, <em>Of Mice and Men.</em> Did you know that Steinbeck borrowed this line from the penultimate stanza of a Scots poem entitled, “To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough” written in 1785 by Robert Burns? By exploring why this phrase has been used so often, it may help you gain clarity in how you can <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">stick to your business plan</a> when you find yourself slipping off course or forgetting the importance of a business plan in your daily activities.</p>
<p>Do you ever ask yourself after you’ve written up your business plan, how will you stick to the business plan? You may find yourself making excuses for all of the reasons why you find yourself doing anything but following your business plan.</p>
<p>With a plan all you need to make it work is daily action, motivation, and commitment. What often stands in the way is how easily we lose focus and allow ourselves to stray from the present moment.</p>
<p>Do you believe that, “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley” when ascribing what happens after you’ve finished writing your business plan?</p>
<p>Did you analyze what went right and wrong from the previous year, and then find your head buried back in the sand of the drudgery of managing daily tasks?</p>
<p>Look at Robert Burns last two stanzas of his poem (translated into Standard English) below before you formulate your answer:</p>
<p>But little Mouse, you are not alone,<br />
In proving foresight may be vain:<br />
The best laid schemes of mice and men<br />
Go often askew,<br />
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,<br />
For promised joy!</p>
<p>Still you are blest, compared with me!<br />
The present only touches you:<br />
But oh! I backward cast my eye,<br />
On prospects dreary!<br />
And forward, though I cannot see,<br />
I guess and fear! (37-48)</p>
<p>The poem describes a farmer finding mice and their nest in his field during the winter. His plough has just torn the nest apart. Now the mice which had the foresight (i.e., instinct) to gather warm bedding for the winter, have to start gathering and building afresh another nest or perish. The speaker of the poem is feeling many things. He’s distraught, because he is caught in feeling guilty for having just destroyed the nest. He’s also decided to borrow worries and project into the future that the mice will not be able to make a new one before they die.</p>
<p align="center">What line of reasoning do you build your business upon? There are two choices:</p>
<p>(1)   Do you create a business plan, and then work the plan? –or—</p>
<p>(2)   Do you create a business plan for the books, and then focus your efforts on daily tasks?</p>
<p>One of our favorite quotes amongst many of the Mars Venus Coaches is, “what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” by Robert H. Schuller. Al Pittampali adroitly summarizes why asking this one question to someone who is ready to change is so powerful in the short video “<a href="http://youtu.be/2-ObqLOvCgc">Putting Your Fears on Hold</a>.” What we’re getting at is the way you stick with the plan is by<a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com"> choosing daily activities </a>that carry-out what your goals are in your business plan.</p>
<p align="center">So, which option do you choose to actively run your business day-to-day?</p>
<p>When you choose to run your business by working your business plan (OPTION 1), then what you are choosing to do is work smartly. Not only are you being more effective at time management, but you are also trouble-shooting and adapting your plan as you work with unknown contingencies. Unknown contingencies typically come into play with how well your interpersonal skills (i.e. ability to communicate assertively and how in-touch you are with your emotional and gender intelligence) are with matching your services and products to the needs of your customers. With this choice you are mindful and in the present moment. You are more like the mice who plan ahead, but then adapt moment by moment.</p>
<p>If you prefer to write a business plan, stick it in a notebook, and forget about it, because you have too many other pressing things to do (OPTION 2), then you are operating more from a place of fear. You are more like the farmer in Burn’s poem who looks forward and guesses and fears, and looks back at the dreary prospects. Three things happen: inaction, busywork, and frustration. Then when you pull out your business plan and dust it off, you wonder what went wrong, and why it was so hard to stick to your plan.</p>
<p>While we’re likening men to mice, another quick motivational read about individual choice and business planning is Spencer Johnson, M.D.’s <a href="http://www.redtreeleadership.com/whomovedmycheese/"><em>Who Moved My Cheese?</em></a><em> </em>It’s another fun way to keep you on track with your business planning. It’s also a quick way you can check-in with your coach on who you most behaved like in the past week during your coaching sessions. Were you acting like Hem, Haw, Sniff, or Scurry? Sticking to the plan, means working your plan…every day. And if you get side-tracked, know why, how, and what you are going to do next to get back on track.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.absolute-potential.com">Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">Mars Venus Coaching</a></p>
<p><a title="Calendar" href="mailto:amykamstra@marsvenuscoaching.com">Corporate Media Relations</a></p>
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		<title>How To Make Lasting Changes For New Year&#8217;s or Any Time Of Year</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/01/30/how-to-make-lasting-changes-for-new-years-or-any-time-of-year/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:52:23 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Any Time Is A Good Time For Healthy Changes
Setting goals (rather than taking the traditional &#8216;resolution&#8217; approach) can transform your year!
Each year, many people make resolutions for change, and each year, most of those resolutions go…unresolved. This isn’t due to people’s lack of desire for a better life; it’s just a byproduct of the reality that [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Any Time Is A Good Time For Healthy Changes</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">Setting goals </a>(rather than taking the traditional &#8216;resolution&#8217; approach) can transform your year!</p>
<p><em>Each year, many people make resolutions for change, and each year, most of those resolutions go…unresolved. This isn’t due to people’s lack of desire for a better life; it’s just a byproduct of the reality that <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">change is difficult.</a> Our habits become ingrained and automatic; changing them requires constant effort until a new habit is formed. This resource can help you to make necessary alterations in your expectations, attitudes, and methods of change so that you can experience real results that last. The following ideas can help:</em></p>
<p><strong>Think in Terms of “Goals”, Rather Than “Resolutions”: </strong>While most people make resolutions that they’re determined to keep, a better tactic would be to create goals. &#8220;What’s the difference?&#8221; you may ask. With traditional resolutions, people generally approach change with the attitude, “From now on, I will no longer [name a given behavior you’d like to change]&gt;” The problem with this is, after one or two slip-ups, people feel like failures and tend to drop the whole effort, falling easily back into familiar patterns. By setting goals, one instead aims to <em>work toward</em> a desired behavior. The key difference is that people working toward goals <em>expect</em> that they won’t be perfect at first, and are pleased with any progress they make. Rather than letting <a href="http://stress.about.com/od/lowstresslifestyle/a/perfectionism.htm">perfectionism</a> work against them, they allow motivation and pride to do their magic. The following ideas can help you with meeting your ‘New Years Goals’:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Remember That It’s A Process:</strong> Expect to work your way up, rather than maintaining perfection and feeling let-down if you don’t achieve it immediately.</li>
<li><strong>Work Your Way Up:</strong> In setting goals for new behavior, aim for once or twice a week, rather than every day. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll go to the gym every day,” plan for “every Wednesday” or, better yet, sign up for a fun exercise class, and you can work your way up to more often.</li>
<li><strong>Set Yourself Up To Succeed:</strong> Set small, attainable goals, and add more steps as you complete each one. This way, you gradually work your way toward the life you want and the necessary changes, but you experience much more ‘success’ along the way, rather than feeling like a failure if you don’t experience ultimate change overnight.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Have A Goal Each Month: </strong>If you’re like most people, you may have several changes you’d like to make in your life; if so, it may be a good idea to tackle one each month. This way, 1) you can focus more, as you won’t be trying to make several sweeping changes at once; 2) you can re-commit yourself each month to a new idea, so you keep growing all year, and self-improvement becomes a way of life; and 3) you can build on each success, so you can first free up time before you take on a new hobby or get involved in an important cause, for example. Also, habits generally take 21 days to form. This setup enables you to devote energy to forming new habits more easily before moving on to the next, so you’re not relying solely on will-power.</p>
<p><strong>Reward Your Progress:</strong> While many of your resolutions carry their own reward, changing your habits can be challenging, and it’s sometimes easier to do so if you have a little extra help. (Remember how <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">positive reinforcemen</a>t from a supportive teacher helped you learn, even though the knowledge itself was its own reward?) Providing extra rewards for yourself can help you to stay on track and maintain your motivation, even if you sometimes don’t feel like making the effort solely for the sake of the benefit the change itself will create. The following are ways you can create rewards for yourself:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Team Up:</strong> Have a buddy who knows your goals, and encourage each other, even if you’re working on separate goals. This will provide you with someone who can give you a high-five when you deserve one, and a little encouragement when you need it.</li>
<li><strong>Reward Small Successes:</strong> Divide your goal into bite-sized steps and have a reward waiting at the completion of each.</li>
<li><strong>Align Rewards With Goals:</strong> Have rewards that are in line with your achievements (like new workout clothes for every 5 gym visits, or a beautiful new pen if you stick with your journaling habit for two weeks).</li>
</ul>
<p>As for the goals you set, it&#8217;s important that you choose your goals wisely, or it will be hard to make them stick. You also want to pick goals that will really help improve your life, so the effort will have a nice payoff. I suggest these <a href="http://stress.about.com/od/lowstresslifestyle/ss/resolutions.htm">Top 10 Resolutions for Stress Relief</a> or these <a href="http://stress.about.com/od/lowstresslifestyle/a/lowstresslife.htm">Top 5 Changes for a Healthy Lifestyle</a>. Good luck!</p>
<p>By Elizabeth Scott, M.S<a href="http://stress.about.com/bio/Elizabeth-Scott-M-S-17577.htm">.</a>, About.com Guide</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Vision, Strategy, and Tactics</title>
		<link>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/01/27/vision-strategy-and-tactics/</link>
		<comments>http://www.marsvenuscoachscott.com/2012/01/27/vision-strategy-and-tactics/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:23:18 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[
Vision: What you want the organization to be; your dream.


Strategy: What you are going to do to achieve your vision.


Tactics: How you will achieve your strategy and when.

Your vision is your dream of what you want the organization to be. Your strategy is the large-scale plan you will follow to make the dream happen. Your [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<ul>
<li>Vision: What you want the organization to be; your dream.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Strategy: What you are going to do to achieve your vision.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Tactics: How you will achieve your strategy and when.</li>
</ul>
<p>Your vision is <a href="http://www.marsvenusworkshops.com">your dream</a> of what you want the organization to be. <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">Your strategy</a> is the large-scale plan you will follow to make the dream happen. Your tactics are the specific actions you will take to follow the plan. Start with the vision and work down to the tactics as you plan for your organization.</p>
<p><strong>Concepts Are The Same</strong></p>
<p>Whether you are planning for the entire company or just for your department the concepts are the same. Only the scale is different. You start with the vision statement (sometimes called a mission statement). When you know what the vision is you can develop a strategy to get you to the vision. When you have decided on a strategy, you can develop tactics to meet the strategy.</p>
<p><strong>Vision</strong></p>
<p>A vision is an over-riding idea of what the organization should be. Often it reflects the dream of the founder or leader. Your company&#8217;s vision could be, for example, to be &#8220;the largest retailer of automobiles in the US&#8221;, &#8220;the maker of the finest chocolate candies in London&#8221;, or &#8220;the management consultant of choice for non-profit organizations in the Southwest.&#8221; A vision must be sufficiently clear and concise that everyone in the organization understands it and can buy into it with passion.</p>
<p><strong>Strategy</strong></p>
<p>Your strategy is one or more plans that you will use to achieve your vision. To be &#8220;the largest retailer of automobiles in the US&#8221; you might have to decide whether it is better strategy for you to buy other retailers, try to grow a single retailer, or a combination of both. A<a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com"> strategy looks inward</a> at the organization, but it also looks outward at the competition and at the environment and business climate.</p>
<p>To be &#8220;the management consultant of choice for non-profit organizations in the Southwest&#8221; your strategy would need to evaluate what other companies offer management consulting services in the Southwest, which of those target non-profits, and which companies could in the future begin to offer competing services. Your strategy also must determine how you will become &#8220;the consultant of choice&#8221;. What will you do so that your targeted customers choose you over everyone else? Are you going to offer the lowest fees? Will you offer a guarantee? Will you hire the very best people and build a reputation for delivering the most innovative solutions?</p>
<p>If you decide to compete on lowest billing rates, what will you do if a competing consulting firm drops their rates below yours? If you decide to hire the best people, how will you attract them? Will you pay the highest salaries in a four-state area, give each employee an ownership position in the company, or pay annual retention bonuses? Your strategy must consider all these issues and find a solution that works AND that is true to your vision.</p>
<p><strong>Tactics</strong></p>
<p>Your tactics are the <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">specific actions,</a> sequences of actions, and schedules you will use to fulfill your strategy. If you have more than one strategy you will have different tactics for each. A strategy to be the most well-known management consultant, as part of your vision to be &#8220;the management consultant of choice for non-profit organizations in the Southwest&#8221; might involve tactics like advertising in the Southwest Non-Profits Quarterly Newsletter for three successive issues, advertising in the three largest-circulation newspapers in the Southwest for the next six months, and buying TV time monthly on every major-market TV station in the southwest to promote your services. Or it might involve sending a letter of introduction and a brochure to the Executive Director of every non-profit organization in the Southwest with an annual budget of over $500,000.</p>
<p><strong>Firm or Flexible?</strong></p>
<p>Things change. You need to change with them, or ahead of them. However, with respect to vision, strategy and tactics, you need some flexibility and some firmness. Hold to your dream, your vision. Don&#8217;t let that be buffeted by the winds of change. Your vision should be the anchor that holds all the rest together. Strategy is a long-term plan, so it may need to change in response to internal or external changes, but strategy changes should only happen with considerable thought. Changes to strategy also should not happen until you have a new one to replace the old one. Tactics are the most flexible. If some tactic isn&#8217;t working, adjust it and try again.</p>
<p><strong>Manage This Issue</strong></p>
<p>Whether for one department or the entire company, for a multi-national corporation or a one-person company, vision, strategy, and tactics are essential. Develop the vision first and hold to it. Develop a strategy to achieve your vision and change it as you have to to meet internal or external changes. <a href="http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com">Develop flexible tactics </a>that can move you toward fulfilling your strategy.</p>
<p>By F. John Reh, About.com Guide</p>
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		<title>3 Tips to Achieving Your Goals</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jan 2012 23:26:09 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Mars Venus Coach &#8211; Liza Tsapenko 

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